eeny, meeny, miny, moe....

Having escaped burnout (this time), I'm now looking forward. Onward to more races! My calendar is half empty! Well, and we just can't have that! *note sarcasm*

I'm considering several races and realizing that I simply can't do them all. Physically or financially, it's just not possible. I'm in the process of picking and choosing; a lame attempt at wise scheduling.

Here's the rundown so far:

• There is a race next week that is intriguing. I just don't know if I'm recovered enough to happily tackle an 8k or financially stable enough to afford the registration. The jury is still out on this one. ....and I'm running out of time.

• There's also Tybee. I know I can't do this one but list it because it's one that I want to run. Maybe next year....

• Reedy River is an option...

• I'm hoping to run the Atlanta half with some of my TNT people...

• Cooper River is a must. I registered last year and didn't get to run it. I think I'm rallying some friends for this one. The more, the merrier!

• And then there is the Easter Bunny Run in Clemson that is so silly I think it'd be a blast....

Of course, all this after just having finished Nike Women's (duh) and I ran my first post marathon recovery race this weekend. That was fun! Once again, I'm asking the infamous question of "now what?" all while trying to catch that tiger by his toe.... He's a very tricky tiger.

...approaching burnout.

I survived my art deadlines, albeit accepting some compromises I'm not crazy about in the process. I also survived Open Studios. Now, I am trying to recover... from the past month.

My apartment is in a state of disaster. I'm trying to bring it back to life this week... cleaning, doing laundry, sorting clutter, recycling, and goodwill-ing. Also in the mix, resting. I had a sinus infection week before last which, thankfully, quickly responded to antibiotics. This weekend, it tried to make a comeback. I'm still on the antibiotics and am flushing my body with water and vitamins. I think I need some sleep, so that's been put back on the priority list.

I'd like to get in some runs this week, especially since I'm registered for a 5k this Saturday. It should be a fun one, even if I don't get to run it. My mental state is getting jagged from the lack of running... and, of course, as luck runs it's raining today. Since I'm not training and it's very clear my immune system is struggling to keep up with me, we aren't pushing it today. The treadmill has potential though.

Even in my job, I feel as though I'm approaching a burnout. I'm trying to rest, relax, and recover to prevent it.... and, yet, life goes on.

blessed struggles

In summary of the last week or so post marathon, I have been dashing about trying to catch up on the things I've missed, neglected, and forgotten during training and my trip. All the while, it all seems so insignificant. This comes not from having run a marathon but from having run a marathon for such a great purpose. Everything else seems trivial and a bit trite. I'm struggling to hold onto that while simultaneously shifting my perspective just enough so that I can move forward with all the mundane.

Now, as I face down my art deadlines, I'm battling a train of thought that I never thought would cross my mind... Do I want to leave my legacy through time spent with friends, family, and amazing people? or do I want to leave it through a strong body of artwork? In reality, I want both. This week, though, I've had to choose. It's been hard. It's done a number on my head and my heart. Maybe I've never really considered the question until now. I know I want to use this life, every second of it, for a purpose greater than me. The Lord has graced me with a passion for creating art. He has also graced me with amazing people both who love me but also who I can reach out to. I live such a blessed life it seems surreal to have any real struggles. In truth, I really don't have any. How do I move on from here? I'm really not sure.... but I know it won't ever be the same.

ps. I went for a run Wednesday. I walked the bulk of it. My knees just weren't having it. I've been cleared by my PT people. It's just going to take time for my body to fully recover. I want to make time for a few "runs" this week. With the deadlines, we'll see.