Really and Truly

I can only say ditto to this. I'm thrilled to have someone put it into words for me. Only, add to it an unmatchable love for Christ. I think {pray} over that often when I'm running.


In every other bit of my life is general chaos. Its week 1 of running study training and it's kicking my butt. I wasn't able to fit in my tempo run scheduled for last night so I've got to rethink the rest of the weekend to see if I can fit it in somewhere. I think the program has every potential to be a huge blessing for my running.

Christmas approaches and I'm knocking out my shopping list.

This weekend is art weekend extraordinaire. EVERYONE, or so it seems, is having a show either yesterday, tonight, or tomorrow. GET OUT THERE AND BUY SOME ART!

Hot Yoga, Jumpy Castles, and Switzerland

I tried hot yoga for the first time last week. It was... well, hot. The last time my pores oozed that much sweat was the dead of summer while training for a marathon; 6 milers, 3 times a week plus long runs, in SC humidity and the afternoon heat (the only time my weekday schedule gave me to run) all the way through October. Ah, marathon training. Hot yoga, while tough, was not as strenuous as all that. It's a little gross to be that drenched but also very intoxicating. It gives you a feeling of cleansing and purity. I'll definitely be going again. And that's not just because I'm so cheap I refuse to let my deal go unused ($20 for 20 classes), though that is part of it.

I'm about to start a running study and I'll need the yoga for cross training. I have to admit, though, I'm beginning to wonder if I shouldn't give up running in place of jumpy castles. Most of my friends know and understand my love for jumpy castles. Really, what's not to love? My dad came to own one by happenstance and I'm happy to admit we use it on fairly regular occasions. This weekend was one of those. We had all my nieces and nephews in town so we set it up and went to jumping. Who needs running when you have a jumpy castle? Fun was had by all, including myself.... even if I may have pulled a muscle trying to show my niece a toe touch. Go figure. Those running hamstrings really don't like doing toe touches.

Last night I had the privilege and pleasure to go to an artist talk at the Fine Arts Center. It was a double pleasure. I got to see an awesome clay exhibit on Native Clay. Beautifully stunning pieces.... I have no words. Then, Boris Bally gave a talk. What an amazingly creative, passionate, and intelligent person! I ate up every bit of it, thoroughly enjoyed his work, and was inspired by all of it. The biggest problem is my new love of Switzerland. Boris grew up there and through his few comments about the place... I've decided I may have to move there. 9 am snack? 2 hour lunch with wine? 4 pm snack? Amazing craftsmanship and intelligent design everywhere? It sounds like my kind of place!

The rest of my life has resumed its normal chaos.... plus the commute which means I sleep even less than I did when I lived 10 minutes from everything. Go figure. Alas, if this is where God will have me, it's perfect. The good news? I'll be debt free in a year, maybe sooner... given things go as planned. And not including those pesky student loans.

absence makes the heart grow fonder....

It seems the old saying is true. At least in this case.

I'm in a honeymoon stage with my home town since I've come back. It's great timing for a return, really.... Fall for Greenville was my first weekend home, I'm getting to spend time with two of my close friends before they move at the end of the month (one to Denver, one to Italy), the studio is hopping in preparation for Open Studios, the weather has been beautifully perfect...

While there is a lot going on, I'm in love with all of it.
Ok. Almost all of it. I really don't enjoy the commute from my parents' house.
And by 'don't enjoy' I mean 'really hate.' It hasn't become a full on painful thing yet but it's well on it's way. This week is the first I'm really starting to feel it's effects on me.
I'm looking for a place to rent while fully expecting to be at my parents into November.
I'm trying to find and focus on the blessing I know God has placed there....

So, overall, things are settling back into a semblance of 'normal' and I'm still adjusting to being home. Mostly I'm loving all of it!

quick update - 9/10/10

We will finally be doing a first firing early next week. I will be cranking out work til then. And immediately after since we'll be firing again just a short time after that. I am hoping the larger pieces will help fill the kiln faster. We'll see.... it all depends on if I can manage to stop killing them. I require a high tolerance of abuse from my pieces... and the change in scale means a learning curve for just how much the new scale will take. and when. It's a learning curve I'm not fond of, but necessary. I'll deal with it and learn in the process. It'll improve when my throwing large skills improve too. They often coincide.

In the meantime, it's life as normal on the side of this small mountain. I see the same few people every day. Pluse a new resident who is kind, smart, and funny. The days blur together... weekends blending into weeks and on and on. I crave my routine back home, as chaotic as it is. It's familiar and maybe that's what I miss the most.

It's cool here. Fall has hit. and you can see the evidence in the tip top of the trees.... the beginning of some kick ass beauty.

Back to the studio....

frustration

There is a point of frustration in which you know you must walk away or destroy what you've just created. One or the other. This is where I am today.

I'm challenging myself by working larger. It's been going slow but surprisingly well. I clearly need practice to improve these skills that haven't been exercised in years. But, today, my muscles and my clay are not getting along. In the process, both are exhausted and my patience is pushed to its limit.

I feel I see the same 5 people every day. There seems to be a great lack in variety.

What to do now?

If I try to push through, I risk giving in to my frustration and throwing my work against the wall. Most likely while screaming at the top of my lungs. If I walk away, I risk losing precious working time.

It seems I lose either way..... which is the greater loss?

today we try something new

Today... it's try something new day.

Or, I should say, try something you haven't done in years day.

I want my work to be larger... so I need to throw larger.
This is a CHALLENGE.
I know I can... I've done it before.
but..... that was years ago.

SO. Today we try something new.

Prayers, thoughts, and good vibes are highly appreciated today.
I will need a huge shield against my own frustration today.

gypsies

Not much to report.
I'm here.
I'm working.
I haven't been eaten by a bear or gone entirely stir crazy mad. (yet. if it rains again, beware.)

News? Gypsies! that play kicking music!

Turns out the Byrdcliffe Property Manager is a talented little musician and is part of a gypsy band. We happened to hear a tuba (he plays a tuba) drifting into the house the other night, realize that it was their band rehearsal.... so what'd we do?

Crash it.

We grabbed our beer and went down to the barn where they were rehearsing. It was such an enchanting experience I don't even have words for it. The barn was all clean and glitzed up since there was a wedding there this weekend... twinkle lights all over the place. And these gypsies (who aren't really)... an accordion, a tuba, a violin, and one handheld drum instrument (maybe Russian?). It was absolutely gloriously happy. We drank our beer in perfect contentment, happy as larks, bouncing around enjoying their beautiful and jovial sound.

They had a gig in town the next night. We ventured out to hear them. They had an amazing performance but it didn't have the same vibe. They are fairly new and are adamant about sticking to the streets. They will play gigs, house parties, various venues, etc but refuse to engage virtually. No facebook, no youtube, no digital. It's a refreshing change in thought.

I'm planning on buying their CD so I can carry the gypsy joy home with me.

Other than that:
We went hiking this morning. stunningly beautiful.
I'm making work... and trying to get out of my new found artistic existential crisis.
*but, as my best friend put it... "if you had the answers you'd be done... enjoy the process" and she's right. and I am. mostly. sometimes art making is a painful process... I do seem to have some semblance of a direction now, though, and that is a glorious beautiful thing.*

That's all for now. If my hiking post didn't satiate your picture lust, you can find more on my flickr. It's a pain to upload photos through blogger so I'll probably just link to flickr from now on.

I love and miss everyone back home!!

Studio - 8/16/10

The whole point of running away from home was to focus and get some work done. Right? right.

Well, you'll be proud to know that is actually happening! I am managing to fight my way out of my funk and make some new work. I am still struggling to find some definite direction but at least work is being made. I've included some pictures so you can see things in process. I am trying out several different clay bodies to see how I like working with each and to test them out in the soda kiln. We'll see what happens! I am excited about that element, if nothing else. The opportunity to fire in soda again! ...it THRILLS me...

I've had some ideas start to roll around my brain lately, so I'll likely start those up in the next few days. You never know sometimes. It seems the best way to get these ideas out of my head is to start making them. In some cases they succeed enough to spin me into a new direction. In others, it's the failure that causes me to learn and to move on to something else. It's all part of the process....

All in all, being surrounded by clay and clay artists reminds me why I love this medium. It's also making me see just how lazy I've become. How many different clay bodies exist out there? And how HUGE of a difference can that make on your work? And WHY have I been ignoring such a simple part of the potter's process? I think partly it's money and convenience. I don't always have the money to buy a clay body. I definitely don't have the money to buy a clay mixer (oh, how I wish). And my despise of waste brings me to recycling my clay to the point of it being an indeterminate mixture of white stoneware and porcelain. It works, but is it the best for my work? I don't know the answer. And firing temperature ranges and styles... all sorts of different solutions and approaches to working in clay. I feel like I've been ignoring an elephant in the room for the past 3 years. I have much to consider, much to rethink, and much to test.

My creative funk this year may have been a huge blessing. It has given me enough pause to look into residencies... to get accepted to one, and to make the trip happen. Now that it's here, I am thankful that I have that pause to see all that I haven't thought about in years. Why? I'm not sure. Part laziness, part blindness, part stubborn youth.... I'm sure there is more to it than all that. Whatever the reason, I'm glad to be here and to have the opportunity to feed off other clay artists, their ideas, their process, and to chew on their feedback and encouragement.

I'm thrilled just to be making new work. I'm sure I'll reconsider and reevaluate my work when I get home. I hope to always keep things in check. Every artist should. Given that I have certain opportunities here that are currently unavailable to me back home, I will explore those first and foremost. The rest.... well, I'll have to make time for it on my return.

My studio!

My studio entrance...

The first of the cast feet!

And a peek at what I've been up to!

Woodstock Beginnings

I have arrived.

Be warned. You will get few updates and blog posts from me. Why? It's not for lack of trying. This is far more remote than I had anticipated. Yes, there is a town. Don't blink too much though... you might miss it. Yes, I'm only 2 miles from that town. As I have found, though, 5 feet can make or break your internet connection. SO. Don't expect much, okay? And don't even try to call. Though, I usually get my text messages!

I'll try to post something every other week or so as I get down to the library or the coffee shop to do some work.

This week's update includes..... not much.

Not much has happened really. I survived the long haul of a drive. I have massive mosquito bites on my feet from a backyard in Arlington, VA. (Thanks, Cody. I appreciate that memento.) Thanks, Mom, for the magical ointment. It's working wonders. I also managed to drive through NJ Turnpike traffic and not die. Or kill anyone else. Marge's window (my car, Marge) is still yelly and unhappy.... but we managed. With the right crack of the window and appropriate volume on the radio, you hardly notice. If it's raining... well, it usually pipes down during rain. The real problem remains a mystery. Rich, the ceramics coordinator suggests I call NPR's Car Talk. I think this is a fantastic idea. If only I had a cell signal to do that.

It's going to be an adjustment, living here. Those who know me, know that I don't handle silence all that well. It's REALLY quiet here. I mean, really. quiet. I am enjoying the fresh air, untainted by soggy hotness. I love falling asleep to a symphony of crickets, cicadas, and who knows what else. I've been told there are bear and coyote and I hope not to run into any. One of my roommates (there are 3 of us in one house, not 10. yaay! apparently the Ceramics residency is separate. and more fun. go figure.) informed me she saw a bear on the road a week or so back... thankfully she was in her car. Hmmm... Thanks, Dad, for that unreasonably large maglite. It's coming in handy. It's also SUPER dark. It's both nice and really odd. Maglite.... super handy. So, yeah, I'm the city girl from South Carolina.... who isn't really a city girl. except by comparison.

I'm going through some disconnect withdrawals. I'm oddly accustomed to seeing quite a lot of people in one day. And accustomed to having the interwebs at my fingertips. Odd on both counts. I will adjust, in time. Needless to say, I miss everyone.

I am settling into my studio, which is awesome! I rode up with Rich to Albany to get some clay this morning. As potters do... we stopped at a local Italian bakery. I bought some bread and can't wait to have some of it. Cheap and delicious. There is also a closer clay supply in Kingston which is a short drive... I'll be going there later this week. I'm throwing new work... trying to get my bearings on where I'm going with everything and planning to fire the soda kiln by month end with Rich. HOORAH!!

That's all for now. I'll see if I can post some pics tomorrow.
love from Woodstock!

tick tock

I can almost feel my summer slipping away from me. I have a few short weeks before I head up to Woodstock, NY for the remainding 2 months of the summer.

Every weekend of my calendar until then is full and bursting at the seams.
an impromptu 3 week show.
Helping my sister move.
Packing my own apartment.
a Yard Sale.
a 5k race.
2 hopeful concerts.
a sleepover with my niece.
Moving my apartment.
and hoping to make some artwork in the midst of all that.

so much to do, see, and soak in.... and so little time!

SALE!

I've slashed prices on some things over at the etsy shop.
Go.
Check it out.
Maybe buy something.
C'mon, it's cheap art.
How can you resist?

In other news....
I start packing up the apartment this weekend. Let me tell you how excited I am about that. oooh, boy. LOADS.

I'm running a 5k this weekend. YAY. I'm looking forward to it. It should be a good time and a good way to test my time.

No news on the kiln building. I'm working on it. It's there. ....no real progress to report.

And I'm trying to fight my way out of this creative funk. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel now. I'm thinking I'll bust out of it within the month. WOOHOO!

...and that's all my news....
Carry On.

slacker

I haven't been very diligent about keeping up with this blog, for a variety of reasons. I'll spare you the list that just cropped up in my brain.

At any rate, I'm still around....

And I'm running. I had a 2-3 week hiatus recently as I had a Spring Show to prepare for and a corporate boss in town. I have new orthotics and took them for a 3 miler yesterday. The orthotics were great. My body was not. In a short period of time, I have lost some of my already short endurance. I'm starting this week easing back into a routine. 3 miles, 3-4 times a week, cross training in between. I'm tired of battling shin splints. I'm bound and determined to shake them this summer. It's going to take effort and focus on my part, but I know I can do it. Once we get there, I'll start on my next goal. McDaniel. the entire length of it, no walking. From there, I hope to be training for a fall half.

I'm still in the studio. I have been sitting in an artistic funk since March. I'm attempting to pull myself out of that dreadful hole day by day. I've been accepted into an artist residency program in Woodstock, NY this fall. I'm pumped about that opportunity and the breakthroughs that go with it. It's a huge incentive to get myself creatively juiced up before I get there. In the meantime, I'm simply saving cash like a madwoman in an effort to be able to eat while I'm up there!

I'm hoping to use this blog as a way to streamline keeping people informed during the two months I'll be in Woodstock. I know I'll have a lot of people wanting to know how I'm doing and what I'm doing. check here. It'll be the easiest way for me to stay in touch.

In other news, I am working on getting rid of those marathon pounds I gained over the winter. I've shed some of them, still working on the rest of them. I have a feeling that if I stay focused, get rid of my shin splints, train smart.... I'll get back to where I want to be.

In the meantime, I have a dear friend signed up to run Nike Women's with Team in Training this October. I cannot wait to run with her, train with her, and help her along in her experience with TNT. I miss it and cannot wait to do another race with a great and amazing organization.

...approaching burnout.

I survived my art deadlines, albeit accepting some compromises I'm not crazy about in the process. I also survived Open Studios. Now, I am trying to recover... from the past month.

My apartment is in a state of disaster. I'm trying to bring it back to life this week... cleaning, doing laundry, sorting clutter, recycling, and goodwill-ing. Also in the mix, resting. I had a sinus infection week before last which, thankfully, quickly responded to antibiotics. This weekend, it tried to make a comeback. I'm still on the antibiotics and am flushing my body with water and vitamins. I think I need some sleep, so that's been put back on the priority list.

I'd like to get in some runs this week, especially since I'm registered for a 5k this Saturday. It should be a fun one, even if I don't get to run it. My mental state is getting jagged from the lack of running... and, of course, as luck runs it's raining today. Since I'm not training and it's very clear my immune system is struggling to keep up with me, we aren't pushing it today. The treadmill has potential though.

Even in my job, I feel as though I'm approaching a burnout. I'm trying to rest, relax, and recover to prevent it.... and, yet, life goes on.

blessed struggles

In summary of the last week or so post marathon, I have been dashing about trying to catch up on the things I've missed, neglected, and forgotten during training and my trip. All the while, it all seems so insignificant. This comes not from having run a marathon but from having run a marathon for such a great purpose. Everything else seems trivial and a bit trite. I'm struggling to hold onto that while simultaneously shifting my perspective just enough so that I can move forward with all the mundane.

Now, as I face down my art deadlines, I'm battling a train of thought that I never thought would cross my mind... Do I want to leave my legacy through time spent with friends, family, and amazing people? or do I want to leave it through a strong body of artwork? In reality, I want both. This week, though, I've had to choose. It's been hard. It's done a number on my head and my heart. Maybe I've never really considered the question until now. I know I want to use this life, every second of it, for a purpose greater than me. The Lord has graced me with a passion for creating art. He has also graced me with amazing people both who love me but also who I can reach out to. I live such a blessed life it seems surreal to have any real struggles. In truth, I really don't have any. How do I move on from here? I'm really not sure.... but I know it won't ever be the same.

ps. I went for a run Wednesday. I walked the bulk of it. My knees just weren't having it. I've been cleared by my PT people. It's just going to take time for my body to fully recover. I want to make time for a few "runs" this week. With the deadlines, we'll see.

...so close.

I'm just days away from my big trip and my big race!

To boot, I'm only $68 away from my fundraising goal! How amazing are all my friends and family who not only donated their time, energy, and money but also poured themselves into prayer on my behalf. THANKS! and Glory to God!

I am super excited about my trip and can't wait to get those last donations in so I can officially meet my fundraising goal!

Thrilled to be on the taper..... and focusing on my other goals as well! I have an art deadline 2 days after I return from San Francisco. I am working hard to stay focused, pray, and work hard to get it done before I leave on Friday. And, Open Studios is just around the corner!

I am hoping to have an Octoberfest Victory Party (albeit sometime in November) since I fully intend to conquer those 26.2 miles and I'm missing much of October due to my training, fundraising, and deadlines.

...more on all of this after the race!

update

I've been crazy busy the past 2 weeks... I took on the challenge of stepping into the shoes of a friend of mine for about two weeks. She had the magnificent opportunity to go to Italy with her husband and 4 year old daughter. Two good friends tagged along for part of the trip as well. What an experience for them all! And what an experience for me! I house sat, dog sat, and cat sat for them while away. In addition, I tried to keep our studio in order. She is the essential mover and shaker of the studio, the other two friends being big components as well. Let's just say I had my hands full.

All in all, 3 dogs, uncounted cats, a large house, a 15 person studio, and 2 studio dogs to manage. I managed to simply get to work on time, get my runs in, get all of said animals fed, feed myself, and fall into bed every day... only to start over the next day. Not counting the unending amounts of snaffus that come with that many creatures. How does she do it? I really don't know.... toss in a 4 year old and art related pressures and deadlines. Oh, and a husband, to boot... she's gotta be Wonder Woman, that's all I can figure.

Now that everyone is home again, I am back in my one bedroom apartment with my new hamster who is completely freaked out by me, I am trying to settle back into my routine. If I had one to begin with.... which some days I question. Do the laundry, feed myself, do some reading, do some sketching, get my run in, my job, do something at the studio, stop looking at the calendar and panicking....

Running...
Running has been trying-- just the scheduling of all the miles has become an effort for me. I'm managing to get it done, though. I even conquered 17 miles over the weekend! Granted, that was supposed to be 18 miles and I'm still not sure how I missed just one mile... but, all the same, I was proud to have accomplished that much! The shins are doing better. They are not 100% but they are making improvements. Now, I'm getting aches and pains from the high mileage-- my arches ache; I have a spot on my left thigh that hurts; my knees are stiff from running so much, no pain just stiff; I'm tired. We are getting close so even though I'm tired, I'm getting excited. Room is booked. Flight is booked. I need to start researching fun stuff I want to do while in the city.

Fundraising...
Fundraising is going well, all things considered. I'm harassing everyone to pieces but I'm 50% there! I'm hoping that my Shave it or Save it event is a big success. I think I've got several folks who are holding out until the last minute. There is less than a week until that big event! I may not have hair after that so I'm trying to enjoy that while it's still there. I have a dear friend who made baked goods for me to sell toward my fundraising... bless her she's so awesome! Hopefully that will pull in some of the boys at work. Chipping....just chipping away at my goal!

Art...
Art is starting to stress me out. Only in the sense that I have deadlines fast approaching and little time to work on them. I'm going to have to buckle down pretty hard... harder than normal. Open Studios is approaching, very quickly after my race. After that I have an installation to figure out. It'll be great... both of them. In the meantime, though, I feel like my work needs a head space reboot. I feel like I'm making the same things with different titles. I need to refocus but have little time to do that.

Job...
I still have one. Thank you Jesus.

more updates later--likely after my big Shave or Save event-- likely with pictures.

Interference

I'm working under an art deadline this week, which means I'm pulling triple shifts. On top of my day job and my training, I'm cramming artwork. I was swinging it all ok until yesterday.

I was so wiped out that I could barely keep my eyes open at the office. I had planned on going for my run immediately after work. I changed that. I decided a power nap would do me good and would only slightly affect my deadlines. I went home and gladly climbed into bed. A good hour and a half later I woke up to realize I had failed to think about setting an alarm and that it was now too late to get a run in without running in the dark. alone. Crap.

Ok, no big deal. We'll just shift my rest days around. I'll run in the morning and move my long run to Sunday. Flip to this morning.....

Crap. I slept through my alarm going off for a full hour. Crap.

ok, we'll get the run in this afternoon. I'll have to brave the heat of the day, but it can be done. Meanwhile, I still have a full plate of artmaking to cram in before my deadline this weekend.

Interference. It's the name of the game this week.

Dirty Dreams

I haven't said much about my artwork, here.... mostly because that isn't the main purpose for this blog right now. For now, it's to keep track of my training, for those interested.

I will stray for a moment and say that I'm dreaming of dirt filled adventures in far away places. I've been eyeing various artist residency programs for at least 2 years now. I'm finally taking the plunge. There are 3 that I'm serious about... 2 of which are absolute long shots. Super competitive, very renown, and tough residencies that I likely will not get. The other is shorter, just as beautiful country and will still do me lots of good. Plus, it's more likely I can afford it.

There are a lot of unanswered questions with this venture. I have no idea how I'd afford it if it did come to pass. That's the big one... others involve housing, my job, what would happen when the residency is over.... all good things to know. I don't have the answers, though.... and doubt I will until it happens.

"There are a total of 21 kilns... Four wood kilns, eight electric kilns and nine gas, all varying in size and use. There is also a variety of equipment available for use such as slab rollers, pug mills, extruders, saws, grinders, a sandblaster and compressed air..." *drool*

I'm gathering my application(s) together.... and sending it off just as soon as I can.