Delays, Waits, and Irrational Frustration

It seems inevitable.

I'm cranky and irrational.
mostly because I want to get out of this town.
away from the same 5 people.
The 5 people that would be grand if sprinkled in amongst some other people.
But by themselves drive me nuts.
They talk about each other.
to me.
I'm sure, about me, as well.
and to each other.
It's bizarre, disturbing, and more than a little disgusting.
I'm exhausted by it and simply want to escape.
Back to the familiar.
Back to home.
Back to where I know this societal truth exists but is less obvious.
Back to where I know those who love me, who is positive, who is not, and when to deal with each group.
Back to where I know the game rules and can play fairly well.

As it stands, it looks like this kiln won't get loaded tonight at all. I'll be lucky to get it loaded tomorrow. Which means I'll be lucky to get out of here Wednesday. Maybe even Thursday.

This translates to a simple frustration.
A selfish one, which only makes it more frustrating.
I have a nephew, sister, and brother in law I rarely get to visit. Suddenly, I'm close by and planned to have time for them. And it's not going to happen. This upsets me.

All of this is selfish and I know it.
I pray fiercely.
and I drink my beer.
This does not help.

So, I'm cranky. and I wait to discuss very practically delaying the kiln so that Rich doesn't go completely bat-shit crazy from sleep deprivation.
and I drink my beer, which is not helpful.

except now I have to pee.

frustration

There is a point of frustration in which you know you must walk away or destroy what you've just created. One or the other. This is where I am today.

I'm challenging myself by working larger. It's been going slow but surprisingly well. I clearly need practice to improve these skills that haven't been exercised in years. But, today, my muscles and my clay are not getting along. In the process, both are exhausted and my patience is pushed to its limit.

I feel I see the same 5 people every day. There seems to be a great lack in variety.

What to do now?

If I try to push through, I risk giving in to my frustration and throwing my work against the wall. Most likely while screaming at the top of my lungs. If I walk away, I risk losing precious working time.

It seems I lose either way..... which is the greater loss?